Fraulein14

This situation (re: pandemic) makes me realize abut that quote Life isn't fair, and whether I'm ready or not I have to adjust myself Even for the last 19months, I doubt my faith in God I keep questioning Him for detailed reasons about everything that happened I wonder why my prayers haven't been answered even till the day I get up and write this thing I wonder why people never appreciate and notice me no matter how hard I try to compare to 'that people' I wonder why wise quotes keep saying about miracles and good news every morning when I see nothing changed except the way I see my life.. Yeah the way I see life..different I used to believe in dreams and goals, but my dreams and goals got cut off by the reality I used to believe that someday I'll be loved and I'll find love, but I got rejected and humiliated many times I used to believe I deserve chances, but I got none - I got kicked out because they only took me for granted People shared their pain with a ...

Celastrus orbiculatus the original bittersweet The most known as bittersweet Do you know why it called so? I think you're already know the reason The flavor is  sweet with a bitter aftertaste. Its flavor has common with us These all happened on the day i fall for you Falling in love..again For a long time i made you wait I was glad, because you gave me time it tasted sweet With our story It has common, or it's an coincidence  Do you know why i tell you so? Bittersweet is the only word that can represent how i feel right now about you Bittersweet is the only flavor i'm getting along so well It happened when i choose to look at you It happened naturally After so long i felt the sweet taste For a long time i didn't realize you were there till you told me how you feel till you made your presence in my life till one day i realize you were always there On that day i couldn't love you back not because i didn't love you i wasn't...

God is the Holy one we know We call God by different names We trust God as our savior God never lets us down, always there to catch us God knows us the best more than anyone else  God sends His soldiers to spread His love  God loves us like a Father loves his children But why human judges others so easily? Why human treat others with no love? Why human act as if they’re God Why…?  Why human become like that these days? Do they know that they could die anytime?  Do they know that God has power in our world? I think.. they forget  Human doesn’t remember about God anymore Human leaves God , and live in their own understanding  I hate human, but I’m a human  So, does it mean I hate myself? If I hate myself then I hate all of people around the world, aren’t i?  If I hate people in the world then I have no love inside me? So in conclusion, it means I’m the same with them  /sighs/ I can’t deny that facts  But someti...

"Please don't fall in love with someone new" that's what i told my heart after experience my first love broke my heart into pieces I thought my heart could listen to my brain I thought my heart could cooperate not to fall but i was wrong I was too naive Yeah.. too naive when it comes about love A sweet love which makes me cheerful A sweet love which makes me diligent A sweet love which gives me a chance to dream Until one day my brain speaks up " he has changed" "he won't love me back" "It will always one sided love" "he did it just to flirt every girls" "don't let the guard down when he's being nice" but.. it's too late i'm desperate to talk with him everyday i think about him and it makes me smile brightly i have a wide imagination about him..spend my leisure time with him, having a lovey dovey moment having a silly conversation till joking around...

Aku takut, ya aku takut Aku lelah sangat lelah Aku butuh istirahat, meletakkan kepala dan badan ku di ranjang Aku lelah dengan diriku, dengan lingkungan ini, dengan kehidupan ini Aku ingin bebas dan lepas tanpa peduli perkataan mu, perkataan mereka terhadapku Aku hanya ingin menjadi diriku sendiri Aku tidak bisa menjadi seperti yang mereka mau Bahkan mereka sendiri tidak bisa menjadi yang seperti aku mau Lalu mengapa mereka memaksa ku? Lalu mengapa mereka tidak menerima ku? Apa aku tidak pantas untuk hidup? Apa aku tidak pantas untuk bersosialisasi? Apa aku hanya pantas untuk menjadi bahan ejekkan mereka? Mengapa? Ibu, apakah Ibu terpaksa melahirkan dan membesarkan aku? Ibu apakah ibu terpaksa menyayangi aku? Apakah ibu benar-benar paham tentang aku? Mengapa ibu lebih membela mereka saat mereka katakan aku psikopat? Mengapa Ibu lebih membela mereka yang menyakiti aku? Apakah ibu tahu, dahulu aku berbuat kasar untuk melindun...

It's been 10 years for keeping you inside my mind It's been 10 years i have this feeling one sided It's been 10 years i have waiting for nothing It's true about my feeling for you It's true then every time you come out in my mind i smile It's true every time i remember things happened in the past i smiled wi dely But.. People say i am too naive People say i am too stupid holding on you for 10 years People say i have no hope holding on this feeling for you I should have let this feeling go I should have let my heart choose a new love story But why that's too hard? whenever i try to move on, my heart will back to you again Why it's hard to let this memories gone? Why do i still smile even when i know about one-sided-love? other people may appreciate how long i can keep my feeling on one person like you and the others may laugh at me, saying that i am too naive At the first i think that i don't mind to wait for you for another...

Tiga tahun sudah rasa sakit itu pergi Tapi entah mengapa sepertinya rasa sakit itu tidak pernah pergi dari hidupku Meski sudah aku jauh menapaki kisah kehidupan ku yang baru Rasa sakit itu kembali menghantui.. Entah mengapa aku selalu menjadi korban atas tipu daya dunia ini Korban atas manisnya janji-janji dan kata-kata Apakah aku selugu itu sehingga mudah terjatuh? Apakah aku sebodoh itu sehingga mudah untuk disakiti? Tuhan.. tiga tahun sudah sejak kesalahan itu terjadi Aku berusaha naik dari lubang keterpurukan untuk menikmati matahari dan siraman bulan Aku berusaha membagi cinta yang dulu serpihan demi serpihan aku satukan Sulit menyatukan serpihan itu, tapi aku sadar masih akan ada cinta yang aku temui.. Serpihan itu kembali menyatu meski rapuh namun kututupi dengan hangatnya cinta dari Mu Aku tidak berubah..ya tidak..aku masih sama seperti tiga tahun yang lalu Aku masih bisa berbagi cinta, tertawa, bersenda gurau tapi aku belum menemukan yang sesuai untuk me...

Recently i feel like i'm changing.. I feel like you're changing.. We are changing I feel distance between us.. it causes hole right in my heart it makes me feel lonely till now Though i spend my time in a crowd, i feel like my mind blank, my heart empty Something is missing..i forget something that important. What's wrong with me? Am i get cursed or something like that? Do i turn into the devil now not the nice one? Do i have to pretend i'm okay? I could feel like you never care about me anymore I feel like i'm just a shadow around.. When i'm not around you don't remember me, but when you need something you beg me When i'm down, you go somewhere into place i can't reach When my tears fall you can't even hear i scream deep down here What's wrong with you? Am i not allowed to stay around you? Am i not deserve to be treated like a human being? Am i something that disgusting? Well.. yeah i'm disgusting!!!!!!!!!! ...

If only time machine did exist.. Will i able to turn back the time ? If i could.. I wish we didn't meet each other I wish we didn't have any story created I wish i never knew you, or even them.. but,hey! Look at this~~ You and them already mock at me You and them already hate me... So now.. We're just strangers... or We are eternally enemy? Yeah enemy to die cos we can't forgive thing that hurt We are just strangers.. to each other.. Strangers who only left some of terrible memory behind

I have a lot beautiful things once i know they won't last forever and i'm glad to have them even just for once I'm a kind of a fragile one I'm kinda sensitive when something mess up with things i love I'm kinda possessive if it's about 'MINE' Things i had once already gone People i love and care about too They're gone left me with this pain,wounds and scars which hard to be cured Afraiddd... that's how i feel right now Tireddd.. i wish i have someone to lend me their shoulder i wish i have someone to open their ears to listen to my sorrow i wish i have someone to back up my back when i fall But it won't happen.. I'm sick of this tears I'm tired of listening those mock How could she said that i'm not deserved to get his love again? how could she said i want him form something? yeahh! i want him for something.. I want him to know that was hurt,even it hurts until my bone I feel like being numb I...

The day i spent in this world Every hours,minutes even in any seconds i do have a lot of wishing list which i hope could be granted But i realize yeah i realize Who wants to stay beside a person like me? idiot,ugly,bitc*h,stupid,poor,dummy ah yeah all bad things like they said and talk about me But the day i met you, i thought it will disappear I thought i will be safe in your tender but it's all wrong I felt another mock,another dump i turn back into my miserable life, a life where i don't want to live in yeahh alone, all alone Why it's always me who fight to death for people i love,but they don't? Why always me who suffering alone,with no one by my side? Why i never have someone who can i entrust? Why i don't have someone who will step in front of me whenever people mock me,whenever i'm alone? I had one.. It was you DAD! :'( Why you have to leave me forever,alone here it's dark over here.. i'm afraid there's no o...

Delusion is a belief held with strong conviction despite superior evidence to the contrary it is distinct from a belief based on false or incomplete information, confabulation, dogma, illusion, or other effects of perception.   Through all this time All the moments we had back then The way we laugh,talk,loving each other, just a delusion All the confession,the promises,seemed so real The warmth of your tender,when i was hugged it was so real in my insight but knowing the truth  That you were just pretending.. Acting like i was the only one A Delusion.. It was such a delusion,wasn't it? The time finally we met again, but you're gone The time i spent to fight alone The time i spent for waiting But the fact..i got nothing.. Oh! Wait! I REALLY GOT SOMETHING!! THEIR MOCK,THEIR BAD WORDS TO ME THE FEEL OF HATE THE FEEL OF WISHING I NEVER EXIST!!  ALSO THE WAY YOU SAY "YOU'RE NOT IMPORTANT COMPARE TO THEM! YOU'RE BI...