Fraulein14

Di hidup ini banyak hal yang terjadi,baik suka,duka,tawa,airmata,kecewa,marah,putus asa,frustasi.Hidup mengajari hal indah dan buruk.Hidup dapat merubah yang indah menjadi buruk,mengubah buruk menjadi indah,terlebih apabila itu pandangan oranglain tentang kita. Di hidup ini ku dapat berbagai nilai,namun sayang aku merasa aku yang dulu telah menghilang,lenyap entah kemana ditelan bumi.Aku yang dulu berbeda dengan aku yang sekarang,entah apa kah karena hal sepele itu?atau apakah memang aku yang tidak pantas untuk melewati fase menjadi seekor kupu-lupu cantik?Atau apakah memang waktu bagiku tak akan pernah muncul,meski sebentar saja. Maafkan aku hai hati yang sudah bertahan lama selama ini Maafkan aku hai mata yang sudah lelah meneteskan airmata setiap malam Maafkan aku hai perut membuatmu tersiksa dengan keegoisanku Maafkan aku Tuhan,terlalu sering terlarut dalam kebodohanku yang sudah memang jelas buat dia,dan mereka aku tak pernah ada bagi dia dan mereka aku hanyalah ulat

"Love that's how suppose to be,that's what all people dream of a happy ending of their love.But do you know that love sometimes doesn't like the way you think,feel,see or have.Love has another to explain,it has something unpredictable." For all this period,i guess only these blog,those papers,my heart,my imagination and God who know how i feel.This time i just realize i'm so stupid in love,it always has a miserable ending. Two different stories which i'm gonna tell,they have same result in the end,different cause,different level of pain. First ,it was seven years ago when i met him,i didn't have any feeling through him after we spend a lot of time as team-mate,classmate.At that time i felt happy that he was really respect me,treat me just like his friends and even laughing together.But when i realized i had a feeling and i did something stupid,i told my friend but she can't keep her mouth off,she told him everything."ahh what's on

Friends? Family? Cheering each other up? Did we? Well..yes we were We used to spend time together We used to laugh and comfort each other We used to hang out together We used to gossiping for a long time We used to be... Back in time that's all can be called Friends like Family Back in time we hope that's for eternity.. But now what should we call we are? But now who are you? But now where are the situation we used to be? d i s a p p e a r Lost just like a dust when wind comes out What we are now then? s t r a n g e r ? e n e m y ? or what?! Who was i for all of you? Oh..i forget that i never have what do people call them as 'friends' I forget that a whole world just 'hate that i do really exist here' I forget that everything i have just 'a fiction' All things happen back in time Was a dream Was a drama,where all of you just pretending.. Where all of you only tried to make me i'm alive but now.. Where are

Present,Past,Future just a circumstance They are called time... Time passed.. Memories created but in this case no they are not Everything has changed by time passed.. you have changed they have changed. The way you treat me seriously different Seriously so pitiful for myself Seriously left some scars.. You treat me really different like the way you treat them or even her so nicely,so warmly,so friendly.. Funny right,why should i say these things Those words all these things won't even affect you All things in your mind just her and them Me? so then who was me for you once more? A trash,or a useless thing that you can use then throw into somewhere But her and them just like a diamond which are so precious to death.. So Funny i should have realized this in the past That you never ever meant even just an alphabet in your words Or even the way you act back then,just pretending Should i cry,scream as loud as i can? Should i get my revenge? But the

Is that so easy to forget the memories for you? Is that so easy to dump me from your life? everything has changed now.. you,and them. I don't know who am i to all of you I don't know what was i to all of you Family?Friend?A mood-boaster?or just a fantasy? Time passed,seeing you spend happy time with them no! no! not only them,but her! so happy,in otherside geez..act such a cute boy I was fooled by all your words I was fooled by all your attitude why did i so easy? why did i always come back to you? when you got jealous,i try to calm you down when you almost DIE,i'm patiently wait till you awake i put your name in my prayer. Do i did all those to get a payback? Do i did all those without any sincerity? geez..so funny huh?asking yourself like that why can you act jealous but i can't? why can you say sweet things when you are hers but i can't? Fantasy? yeahh,we are just live in a fantasy world i'm just nothing compared to her or eve

As you know Zombie is kinda of monster As you know That monster is heartless or even brainless i guess Well... Is this trully how do i feel? Do i feel that i do like a zombie? Or i just the fool? Should i suicide myself then checking up my heart Just to find what kind of disease i got Should i .. ahh..whatever,they even don't care Him nor them,just the same.. I guess he got his brain washed by them or i'm just nothing to him u s e l e s s yeahh..exactly that word.. though a thousand words i said though a thousand days i tell him once meaningless always meaningless. Brain please cooperate with me, tears please stop falling, Heart please get recover soon, i feel like a death body who can turns into a zombie I feel like dying I feel like heartless tyrin' to avoid all those words 'LOVE' 'LOYALTY' 'SINCERITY' 'FRIEND LIKE FAMILY' ? What are they? just a word huh? so easy to say it,but once get hurt li