Fraulein14

I'm seriously shocked to know God really hears my pain,my sorrow,and even my prayer about the time i passed in Roleplayer *if you had read my post you will know why* I just.. well i suppose not being like a happy person on people's sorrow yeahh to be honest i'm not happy I just feel relived. Good night Lord, It's been a long time You make me survive facing those betrayal,facing those who had betrayed me. You control my mind and my behave how to act and speak in front of those betrayal.  It was hard and painful inside me.. But,somehow i believe that's for my own sake I feel blessing to face this first cos i believe there's a rainbow after my unstoppable rain There will be someone new who will do better and tonight i don't wanna be happy cos of those who betrayed me has a pain i don't wanna said ''yeah you see that's for what you did''  NOO!! Tonight .. I wanna thank You Lord for always stay by my side for al...

"I like being alone. At least I convince myself i'm better off that way" Sometimes yeah i must admit that words,but sometimes i hate being alone.   I hate being alone.. I hate left behind alone.. I hate feels like unwanted,unknown,neglected BUT Please don't act like you are really care Please don't say i'm gonna be okay like you were in my position once Please don't say that sweet words in fact you have hurt me once Please don't ever try to comfort me if you are gonna hurt me again I prefer to be alone here with no one care I prefer to be un-recognize to be hurt for many times  I like being alone this way Looking at people through the street with a bright smile Looking at couple holding hands and hug each others Looking at you and them live happily out there with no pressure I like stay in the corner of the dark alone Pretending like someone will come over and care about me Pretending...

Langit malam yang cerah Bintang bertabur menghiasi dengan indah Angin malam yang sejuk Seolah membisikkan sebuah pesan padaku Desir ombak di tepi pantai Seolah bernyanyi dengan merdu Hembusan angin malam membuat daun pepohonan bergoyang Bergoyang mengikut arahnya angin Melekukkan dahan dan ranting layaknya penari profesional Indah..Cantik..Menawan, menatap langit seperti ini Damai..Tentram..Aman,merasakan angin malam yang menghampiri tubuhku Dingin terasa tak ku pedulikan.. Memang masih kah ada di dunia ini yang menyadari keberadaanku ? Memang masih adakah di dunia ini yang menganggap aku ada ? Bukankah aku mudah untuk dilupakan ? Bukankah aku tidak memenuhi kriteria untuk seperti mereka rupawan,seksi,cantik,menarik,kaya,berbakat,banyak di kagumi oranglain punya banyak teman,selalu banyak yang peduli Bukankah aku lebih pantas berada di sini ? Ya.. di sini.. Di luar .. di tempat dingin dan seorang diri Memandang dari jauh melihat sebuah kebahagiaan yang hilang...

  It's hard... I can't lie to myself if it's not. Even though i say it's not,it becomes more painful deep in my heart. How can I forgive them when i know my heart still feels then pain ? How can i forgive myself when i can't heal that wounds ? How can I forget those bad memories when they still exist in my life? Should i kill them ? or should i kill myself ? What should i do then ? How can I back to the old me when there're a lot of wounds,pain and nightmare around me How can I be my own self when I know that I have been dumped and negelcted I can't even show the world my bright smile,like i did once when i saw them having fun when i feel the sorrow I can't even remember how was my life look like before this pain, was it interesting? was it fun? I don't know who I am right now, I'm lost I'm here in the place where i don't belong to I'm here .. yeah .. standing here.. alone. It's so scary,facing these ...

Present,Past,Future just a circumstance They are called time... Time passed.. Memories created but in this case no they are not Everything has changed by time passed.. you have changed they have changed. The way you treat me seriously different Seriously so pitiful for myself Seriously left some scars.. You treat me really different like the way you treat them or even her so nicely,so warmly,so friendly.. Funny right,why should i say these things Those words all these things won't even affect you All things in your mind just her and them Me? so then who was me for you once more? A trash,or a useless thing that you can use then throw into somewhere But her and them just like a diamond which are so precious to death.. So Funny i should have realized this in the past That you never ever meant even just an alphabet in your words Or even the way you act back then,just pretending Should i cry,scream as loud as i can? Should i get my revenge? But the...

Good bye and Hello,mungkin itu kata yang tepat untuk hidup ku saat ini. Baik aku secara Real Life dan hidup ku secara Roleplay. Good bye my Past,pain,hurt and all fake things around and HELLO my new life,where i must work hard to reach the future. DI RP Beberapa bulan aku memulai permainan dunia RP,sebagai salah satu KPOP Idol favorit.Di awal semua terasa indah seolah dunia itu,dunia ku yang baru, sekaligus aku yang lain.Tak terbesit dalam benak merasakan luka,pengkhianatan,dan sakit. Namun semua berbeda seiring waktu berjalan.Saat itu ada RP KPOP Idol Namja dari grup favorit,untuk menjadi couple nya aku punya 5 saingan,dan pada akhirnya aku jadi couple nya.Bisa saja waktu itu aku menyerah untuk jadi couple RP nya,karena saat aku bersaing dengan 5 yeoja lainnya,6 namja RP memintaku untuk menjadi couple mereka,namun pernyataan mereka aku tolak secara baik-baik,dan mereka mengerti. Saat aku sudah menjadi couple dari KPOP Idol namja favoritku dimulailah duka,caci maki kuterima. Ban...