Fraulein14

I'm seriously shocked to know God really hears my pain,my sorrow,and even my prayer about the time i passed in Roleplayer *if you had read my post you will know why* I just.. well i suppose not being like a happy person on people's sorrow yeahh to be honest i'm not happy I just feel relived. Good night Lord, It's been a long time You make me survive facing those betrayal,facing those who had betrayed me. You control my mind and my behave how to act and speak in front of those betrayal.  It was hard and painful inside me.. But,somehow i believe that's for my own sake I feel blessing to face this first cos i believe there's a rainbow after my unstoppable rain There will be someone new who will do better and tonight i don't wanna be happy cos of those who betrayed me has a pain i don't wanna said ''yeah you see that's for what you did''  NOO!! Tonight .. I wanna thank You Lord for always stay by my side for al...

Delusion is a belief held with strong conviction despite superior evidence to the contrary it is distinct from a belief based on false or incomplete information, confabulation, dogma, illusion, or other effects of perception.   Through all this time All the moments we had back then The way we laugh,talk,loving each other, just a delusion All the confession,the promises,seemed so real The warmth of your tender,when i was hugged it was so real in my insight but knowing the truth  That you were just pretending.. Acting like i was the only one A Delusion.. It was such a delusion,wasn't it? The time finally we met again, but you're gone The time i spent to fight alone The time i spent for waiting But the fact..i got nothing.. Oh! Wait! I REALLY GOT SOMETHING!! THEIR MOCK,THEIR BAD WORDS TO ME THE FEEL OF HATE THE FEEL OF WISHING I NEVER EXIST!!  ALSO THE WAY YOU SAY "YOU'RE NOT IMPORTANT COMPARE TO THEM! YOU'RE BI...

if you can stuck at her why i can't? if she can spend a romance whole day with u why i cant? why being her who had u back in time was full pf romance.. but me only being pervert,am i a sextoy? why ? no one can explain it i have open up my mind, my heart but i'm too afraid it feels like it's unfair all men are the same only think about their selfishness all men are cold, including you idiot don't act nice of sudden if whole time you always cold me to me, i'm not that stupid for you it's just a game cos you don't hurt the same though i had told you everything but /sigh/ yeah i'm meaningless, i just nothing to you is that so easy for people to forget about me? why? don't pretend to be nice cos you are pitied to me i hate it,it hurts I'm sick of this tears I'm tired I don't know what suppose to do It's only me who try to fight for It's so nice to be her who always being remembered not only y...

"I like being alone. At least I convince myself i'm better off that way" Sometimes yeah i must admit that words,but sometimes i hate being alone.   I hate being alone.. I hate left behind alone.. I hate feels like unwanted,unknown,neglected BUT Please don't act like you are really care Please don't say i'm gonna be okay like you were in my position once Please don't say that sweet words in fact you have hurt me once Please don't ever try to comfort me if you are gonna hurt me again I prefer to be alone here with no one care I prefer to be un-recognize to be hurt for many times  I like being alone this way Looking at people through the street with a bright smile Looking at couple holding hands and hug each others Looking at you and them live happily out there with no pressure I like stay in the corner of the dark alone Pretending like someone will come over and care about me Pretending...

Langit malam yang cerah Bintang bertabur menghiasi dengan indah Angin malam yang sejuk Seolah membisikkan sebuah pesan padaku Desir ombak di tepi pantai Seolah bernyanyi dengan merdu Hembusan angin malam membuat daun pepohonan bergoyang Bergoyang mengikut arahnya angin Melekukkan dahan dan ranting layaknya penari profesional Indah..Cantik..Menawan, menatap langit seperti ini Damai..Tentram..Aman,merasakan angin malam yang menghampiri tubuhku Dingin terasa tak ku pedulikan.. Memang masih kah ada di dunia ini yang menyadari keberadaanku ? Memang masih adakah di dunia ini yang menganggap aku ada ? Bukankah aku mudah untuk dilupakan ? Bukankah aku tidak memenuhi kriteria untuk seperti mereka rupawan,seksi,cantik,menarik,kaya,berbakat,banyak di kagumi oranglain punya banyak teman,selalu banyak yang peduli Bukankah aku lebih pantas berada di sini ? Ya.. di sini.. Di luar .. di tempat dingin dan seorang diri Memandang dari jauh melihat sebuah kebahagiaan yang hilang...

  It's hard... I can't lie to myself if it's not. Even though i say it's not,it becomes more painful deep in my heart. How can I forgive them when i know my heart still feels then pain ? How can i forgive myself when i can't heal that wounds ? How can I forget those bad memories when they still exist in my life? Should i kill them ? or should i kill myself ? What should i do then ? How can I back to the old me when there're a lot of wounds,pain and nightmare around me How can I be my own self when I know that I have been dumped and negelcted I can't even show the world my bright smile,like i did once when i saw them having fun when i feel the sorrow I can't even remember how was my life look like before this pain, was it interesting? was it fun? I don't know who I am right now, I'm lost I'm here in the place where i don't belong to I'm here .. yeah .. standing here.. alone. It's so scary,facing these ...

Present,Past,Future just a circumstance They are called time... Time passed.. Memories created but in this case no they are not Everything has changed by time passed.. you have changed they have changed. The way you treat me seriously different Seriously so pitiful for myself Seriously left some scars.. You treat me really different like the way you treat them or even her so nicely,so warmly,so friendly.. Funny right,why should i say these things Those words all these things won't even affect you All things in your mind just her and them Me? so then who was me for you once more? A trash,or a useless thing that you can use then throw into somewhere But her and them just like a diamond which are so precious to death.. So Funny i should have realized this in the past That you never ever meant even just an alphabet in your words Or even the way you act back then,just pretending Should i cry,scream as loud as i can? Should i get my revenge? But the...