Fraulein14

Bulan telah berlalu tanpa aku sadari setelah aku putuskan untuk melupakan mu Tahun pun telah berganti sejak keputusan itu ku ambil.. Pikiran ku tak lagi mengingat diri mu, bibir kuu tak lagi memanggil nama mu dalam tiap lamunan ku, dalam khayal ku Aku bahkan berpikir dengan logika ku saat ini "Bagaimana aku bisa jatuh hati pada mu waktu itu?" "Bagaimana bisa aku masih mengharapkan semua seindah dulu?" "Bagaimana agar aku bisa menjaga supaya dirimu masih ada dalam genggaman?" Otak dan pikiran ku menentang semua kenangan yang pernah terjadi, memaksa untuk tidak mengingat dan berharap lagi Namun hati ku berbisik kepada logika "seandainya aku bisa kembali ke masa itu dan mengatakan ya aku memiliki rasa" akankah semua menjadi baik-baik saja? Logika ku kembali bergejolak memikirkan semua kemungkinan yang bisa terjadi.. Mesin waktu Kembali ke masa itu, memperbaiki rasa sakit yang kau alami atas jawaban yang aku berikan Kembali ke ma...

It's been 10 years for keeping you inside my mind It's been 10 years i have this feeling one sided It's been 10 years i have waiting for nothing It's true about my feeling for you It's true then every time you come out in my mind i smile It's true every time i remember things happened in the past i smiled wi dely But.. People say i am too naive People say i am too stupid holding on you for 10 years People say i have no hope holding on this feeling for you I should have let this feeling go I should have let my heart choose a new love story But why that's too hard? whenever i try to move on, my heart will back to you again Why it's hard to let this memories gone? Why do i still smile even when i know about one-sided-love? other people may appreciate how long i can keep my feeling on one person like you and the others may laugh at me, saying that i am too naive At the first i think that i don't mind to wait for you for another...

Di bawah gemerlap bintang aku termenung menatap langit yang cerah menutup mata menikmati angin yang menyapaku tanpa sadar aku terlelap.. Dalam lelapku kembali teringat masa-masa saat sebelum ku tutup buku itu ya, buku yang menceritakan semua ceritaku.. buku yang menjadi saksi bisu atas kejadian yang ku alami.. yang menjadi saksi bisu atas rasa bahagia, tangis, canda, dan sampai saat aku menutupnya.. Kembali aku berpetualang menjelajahi waktu seolah kembali melihat peristiwa itu.. melihat aku yang begitu bahagia melihat aku yang begitu bersemangat dan di akhir halaman melihat kenyataan.. bahwa itu semua bukan milikku... kebahagiaan tak pernah berpihak padaku.. hangatnya cinta tak pernah menjadi milikku.. dan senyum bahagia itu bukan juga milikku.. kenangan itupun bukan milikku.. itu semua fiktif, rekayasa.. itu semua dibuat agar aku tak menyesali menutup buku ini.. ya..memang aku tak menyesal telah menutup buku itu.. aku tak menyesal melewati masa yang me...

I'm seriously shocked to know God really hears my pain,my sorrow,and even my prayer about the time i passed in Roleplayer *if you had read my post you will know why* I just.. well i suppose not being like a happy person on people's sorrow yeahh to be honest i'm not happy I just feel relived. Good night Lord, It's been a long time You make me survive facing those betrayal,facing those who had betrayed me. You control my mind and my behave how to act and speak in front of those betrayal.  It was hard and painful inside me.. But,somehow i believe that's for my own sake I feel blessing to face this first cos i believe there's a rainbow after my unstoppable rain There will be someone new who will do better and tonight i don't wanna be happy cos of those who betrayed me has a pain i don't wanna said ''yeah you see that's for what you did''  NOO!! Tonight .. I wanna thank You Lord for always stay by my side for al...

Time passed.. Life must go on.. People left and come. Life and people are changing That's how do i feel, that's how do i see about life.. How will i survive with this scars? How will i live while the wounds still exist? How will i able to live in my life when i even can't accept it? It's almost 1 year since being betrayed, being dumped well yeah i always face being dumped and betrayed but this time it's different i don't know how should i explain it, but it seems the most painful,the worst betrayal ever that i ever experienced in my life.. I try to move forward to live in my life to face what's going on in reality yeahh i can face my life i can live in my life now thanks to those betrayal thanks to those who left this scars thanks to those who once make me afraid to continue my life even i'm afraid to love my idols Especially i thank God for sending someone to cheer me up for sending someone to make me realize i deserve to...

The day i spent in this world Every hours,minutes even in any seconds i do have a lot of wishing list which i hope could be granted But i realize yeah i realize Who wants to stay beside a person like me? idiot,ugly,bitc*h,stupid,poor,dummy ah yeah all bad things like they said and talk about me But the day i met you, i thought it will disappear I thought i will be safe in your tender but it's all wrong I felt another mock,another dump i turn back into my miserable life, a life where i don't want to live in yeahh alone, all alone Why it's always me who fight to death for people i love,but they don't? Why always me who suffering alone,with no one by my side? Why i never have someone who can i entrust? Why i don't have someone who will step in front of me whenever people mock me,whenever i'm alone? I had one.. It was you DAD! :'( Why you have to leave me forever,alone here it's dark over here.. i'm afraid there's no o...

When i feel like no one cares about me When i saw he left me and dumped me When i realize my friends betrayed me When i saw i'm alone here I got myself weaken I got myself shivering I feel like dying alone But.. I can hear a voice whispering me softly I feel like in the most warm tender ever It makes me realize Yeah there's only one who loves me the most It's YOU,JESUS I can see,You are waiting for me all the times I can feel You hugged me when i'm alone I realize that You wipe out my tears when i'm crying I can feel You hear my heart when it's screaming loudly You hold my hand tight so i can't fall apart You protect me from all those enemies You have showed me the unconditional Love You are always there to be my strength when i'm down To be honest i'm still miss everything about him i'm still remember the sweet times You allowed me to spend with him..   that's all i miss about him.. But,You Lord You ...

Time passed quickly Who knows that Spring almost over We had just begun a new page in a new life But that doubt,pain,betrayal keep coming like a shadow It's almost the end of Spring's page in that book It's written all the stories which happened I even hadn't had chance to fix all the mess but end up with another mess I though we could stop having argument but not 'You and your shit negthink, i hate you, you even meaningless to me' Yeah another mocked Another truth revealed. The truth is all this time you were pretending All this time i'm the only one who be pitied by you and your guardians I guess I'm wrong Why did we have to meet if we end up like this? End up with mocking each other No,i'm not mocking you Stupid me right? Still care when know it hurts 'Yes maybe we can back like we used to be if you back like you used to be' Me?Changing? Isn't it you who are changing? I'm act like this to defend myfel...

At the time i saw the words you said It makes me realize how stupid i am It makes me realize that i was so lucky I did something stupid back in time And It makes me wish for a time machine Bring me back to that time so i don't need to make a mistake But if i did it will we ever met? Will i become stronger and stand on my own feet like right now? Will i able to be independent person like who i am now though i'm still fragile But it makes me realize i have my own reason why i have to delete you I have my own goal to reach I have my own reality to face Honestly it's hard.. I guess i'm too sensitive *sigh* I hate this I just hope i can keep pretending in front of you that i don't care that sometimes i don't wanna remember that time But this's my fate.. Unlucky.. I was born to live in this fate I try to keep a distance I try to pay attention to another I try not to care why you have to say that again *Ahhhh i'm not hoping ...