Fraulein14

Oh no! Did i capture your heart? Did i own your heart once? Did you feel the same way about me in the past? I thought i'm too close at that time.. I felt i make the stupidest thing ever.. Fell for you..Got close to you.. How i realize that it was totally wrong totally it was a big mistake.. It happened.. When i knew the fact that you and her together.. Still with an innocence face i could still smile even laugh with you.. Knowing the truth..knowing the pain.. *sigh* but what could i do at that time.. you already with her.. I don't know how long exactly it was.. the one thing i know you and her are together till now.. I can see you get along with her..such a good couple.. Is it already 2 years since i lost myself? I guess so.. I've been looking for myself that long.. Keep on searching how did i look keep wondering how was i.. but still i have no answer.. These days all people know that i'm bad.. all people know just bad things about.. Is

I keep on searching .. I keep looking for my happiness.. I keep searching till finally i find a place to stay.. I found a warm and nice heart once so i stayed.. I thought it's the reason why i start to believe in a new page of life.. I thought it won't cause me anymore hurt and pain.. I thought it could be the last time i fell and hope for the everlasting.. BUT IT'S NOT!!!! IT CAME AGAIN!! A ..B-E-T-R-A-Y-A-L WHY??????????????????!!!!!!!! Why it's hard to start over again from my first experience in pain?? Why it's hard to trust people around me here?? Why i can't even feel that i'm exist??? WHY I NEVER GET THE ANSWERS FOR THESE ALL?? To whom i could ask these silly questions?? To whom i can entrust my heart?? To whom that i can express the true me? Is Hope still in my heart? Do i still have a dream? It seems dark in front of me .. i can't see anything clearly i don't know what will happen to me next? Should i fall d

Time flies so fast, i even don't recognize what time is it, what day and the date... I open up my eyes, move my body slowly from my bed.. preparing myself to face another ordinary day as usual.. I have a dream.. I have a wish.. I wanna try anything i want.. I wanna explore myself more.. But this is not me!! When facing my reflection on the mirror, i could i'm changing.. I even don't know who i am.. I lose myself!! I lose everything about me.. Where i can find it? Will i be able to bring it back? Will my environment accept that??? I feel confused, feels aching in my heart.. Yeah, maybe i;m changing to show those who has changed already.. But i feel uncomfortable.. This is not me..definitely.. I prefer my old self though many people hate it.. I prefer to be hated to lose myself.. It's better for me to be alone whole time rather than i can't recognize myself... Time passes quickly as usual, and i have no idea where my old self is.. I fe