How can I ?

It's hard... I can't lie to myself if it's not. Even though i say it's not,it becomes more painful deep in my heart.

How can I forgive them when i know my heart still feels then pain ?
How can i forgive myself when i can't heal that wounds ?
How can I forget those bad memories when they still exist in my life?
Should i kill them ? or should i kill myself ?

What should i do then ?

How can I back to the old me when there're a lot of wounds,pain and nightmare around me
How can I be my own self when I know that I have been dumped and negelcted
I can't even show the world my bright smile,like i did once when i saw them having fun when i feel the sorrow
I can't even remember how was my life look like before this pain, was it interesting?
was it fun?

I don't know who I am right now, I'm lost
I'm here in the place where i don't belong to
I'm here .. yeah .. standing here..
alone.

It's so scary,facing these pain,through all longing day alone
Having no one to talk with
Having no topic to discuss
Having no spirit to stay alive.

ARRRGGGGGHHHH.........!!!!

Can i just kill them right away so i can live peaceful here ?!!

Their BLOOD, yeahh.. they need to repay the debt for all these tears . . !!

Can you hear that ?
My evil mind keep telling me that !
Can you hear that ?
My heart scream aloud like there's no tomorrow .

BUT

No one out there able to hear my sorrow..
No one out there understand what deep inside me..

NO ONE COULD EVER KNOW .

I have to control myself, don't let them LAUGHING at me seeing my weakness

NO WAY ! !

I'm strong, I believe i can through all this

Can you see my fake life now?
Oh yes, you can
It's so easy for you and your allies to mess my life
BUT

I'm sure you can't hear what all those Angels from Heaven told me so
Yeah, I'm not sure I'm able to do that, but

Since now,
I try to hide how i feel
I try to be heartless
I try not to get close to all of you
I try not to be friendly to you or your allies or even others
that's how i can keep my heart
I try not to care about you
I try to be my old self, which you don't know

by: Fraulein14

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