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Miserable Triangle love

"Love that's how suppose to be,that's what all people dream of a happy ending of their love.But do you know that love sometimes doesn't like the way you think,feel,see or have.Love has another to explain,it has something unpredictable."



For all this period,i guess only these blog,those papers,my heart,my imagination and God who know how i feel.This time i just realize i'm so stupid in love,it always has a miserable ending. Two different stories which i'm gonna tell,they have same result in the end,different cause,different level of pain.
First,it was seven years ago when i met him,i didn't have any feeling through him after we spend a lot of time as team-mate,classmate.At that time i felt happy that he was really respect me,treat me just like his friends and even laughing together.But when i realized i had a feeling and i did something stupid,i told my friend but she can't keep her mouth off,she told him everything."ahh what's on your mind?are you crazy telling him,i've no feeling toward him,we're just friend'' i said to keep pretending. Time passed the day i met him after my friend told him everything became totally different,i told him that i didn't call him and i have no feeling toward him,his reaction seemed like surprise and unbelievable 'are you playing games with me?' i guess that was the words on his mind.Then he act cold to me,pretend that i never do exist till now.Well seven years could be a long of time to keep your feeling for one person right?yeah,that's what i say to myself,why do i keep having feeling toward him,since i know he has already girlfriend.Well my old friend tells me about his girlfriend is someone who was crazy in love with him,she'll do everything to be with him,she always spend her time to wait for his love *sigh* not long after that he say to her that he loves her,so then they're couple i don't what about now.Before my friend tells me about his girl,she tells me that he always act like a fool whenever my friend say my name,he act like he tries to hide his smile.I guess all that things just a delusion,ending up first story in miserable,alone.Since i have no right to blame them,just sit silently here looking them from far away.Maybe i was hoping too much,or maybe i don't put any effort in all effort to be with him don't i?i do put them but why for her all things seem so easy,pretending all his faves to be her fave too,act like a kid whenever near him but that's not my style u,u. I just hope he won't mad at me or hating me anymore cause it's easy to fall but hard to forget.
Second,this happen not quite long like the first one.This happen in Roleplay world.I'm not going tell from the beginning i just wanna tell you all the point.He was the character of my fave idol,i have been waiting for him to come well almost a month,and when he came i was so happy then say,''be my couple,please''.Sounds crazy rite?But who cares,finally he came and i wanna take care of him,cause there's a reason why i join that Roleplay world. It was kinda hard to get close with him too many girls,too many rivals.And i guess it was hopeless for me,but he always say,''just keep tyrin' to make me love you,i've put you in special place in my heart don't give up''.I felt like there's hope and i keep trying even join all the program in that agency to get close with him,till one day i became his couple such an unbelievable. I felt like almost to cry,he was nice,great,romantic,treat me like the one,but..he was cheat on me.I know that's his right to fall in love with another character for real,but not to forget me as his fake couple,or even not blame me when i block her.In other hands that girl said that we're just friend and not going to ruined my relationship with my fake couple,but in the end as you know it's all bullshit.He deactive then comeback of course for her not me though he said,''Let's not be a couple again,i want to be alone,i don't want you to get hurt anymore''.So funny,such a gentlemen but guess what yeah still for her,i got dumped.Then there's bad issue about her he even in her side and saying,''all of you are misunderstand they're not guilty,i know the truth so don't hurt them anymore''.Such a hero right?then the girl he loves gone,then i became another character's couple he was nice but yeah same again i got dumped.
At this time i feel like why she who he loves doesn't like the things he like but tryin' to follow how's that,example from how he write,his fave music and even his fandom.Illness?yeah she has illness but i guess just a drama,what about him?who cares,he has dumped me like a trash.He wasn't on my side when those people say bad things about me,but he was on her side when they did,he treats her nicely and remember them so well but not me.So then all the things he said all about bullshit right?
"You are the things i always write about,talk about,think about.But i'm just something that never do exist for you.In your mind you have her,all the time.Even though i'm hiding somewhere you won't seek for me,you will only go to her,care about her."

"Physically i'm happy we are separated,i want you to disappear forever and never comeback,but mentally i become insane seeing you with her,though you say not real but all the things you do show everything"
"You will always by her side,or even when i blame her or when i say how i feel it won't work.Feels like i'm the devil in this position,feels like i'm so miserable with no hope even just to make all just normal."

I'm so stupid in love ~~
I hate this love song ~~
You are my heartbreaker ~~

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