Skip to main content

I'm lost



I think i'm lost
I lost everything i had once
I lost my smile..
yeaah i lost my reason to smile


I had done my best to follow your footsteps
I had done my best so i can be in the same level as you
I adore you from a long time ago but still you walk away
you're gone

So then i lost my hope
I lost everything i had fight for
I think i dont have to try so hard
I will just let it flow
Let life takes me to somewhere i don't know

Time passed by i heard you already had someone
Well, someone.. yeah someone you love when you're away
That means i'm completely forgotten by you
That means i need to move on my life

Should i try?
Should i try to move on so i can forget you?

But i can't.. until he comes along

An annoying man, yet how can my heart beats whenever he near me?
No! i can't fall for him
He;s my rival, how can i fall for someone i hate
He underestimate me once, though in the other side he cares a lot about me

But..
I need to apologize that i fall for him

Should i be brave?
Should i tell him?

So then there'll be no you in my heart but him..
But will he be the you who left me once?
I am afraid..but right now i only feel love


And then i continue my journey
I tell him that i have feeling
and i know that he has the same feeling but he's too shy
he's too stubborn..he cares about his reputation and his career more
Well, i;m not surprised since he's a perfect student in here

Should i follow his footsteps like i did before?
Should i ignore myself to be as perfect as him?
Should i fight for his love?

I think the answer is NO

I can't win against girls around him
I cant win his heart if he doesnt give me a chance
He keeps ignoring me
He keeps pushing me away
But i'm sure he has the same feeling like i have

But, another him..another man who always by myside
he persuades me
he told me to leave that perfection man
he told me to love him no that perfection man

I don't know what to say
I;m in the middle of love
In the middle of love that every girls dream of
like a fairytale.. but mine has no happy ending





My heart yearns for that perfection man
My heart.. right now want him.. nobody else

Eventhough in the end i could win his heart, i can't have him forever
He pushes me away..

So then why i experience love if at the end my heart is broken?
WHY?

why you and him ignore me?
why all of this happen?
Why did you go?
Why i met him?

If you didnt go, i would have never met him
If you didnt go i would never fallen for him
if you didnt go, this wont happen

Time heals me
Time heals my heart
It makes my heart cold
It turns me into a lady

I dont need you neither him
I dont need you or him to love me just to leave me
I dont need LOVE

But.. i'm wrong
you're back, and so does him
WHY?

Then what should i do?
Should i give you both the same chance or to ignore you both?
I love you, but i love him too
I love you but you once loved her and you left me behind
I love him..he healed my wounds once, but then he's gone

I think.. i;m lost


 inspired by:
Mandarin Drama So Young (series), 致青春


Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Check it out

The End

This situation (re: pandemic) makes me realize abut that quote Life isn't fair, and whether I'm ready or not I have to adjust myself Even for the last 19months, I doubt my faith in God I keep questioning Him for detailed reasons about everything that happened I wonder why my prayers haven't been answered even till the day I get up and write this thing I wonder why people never appreciate and notice me no matter how hard I try to compare to 'that people' I wonder why wise quotes keep saying about miracles and good news every morning when I see nothing changed except the way I see my life.. Yeah the way I see life..different I used to believe in dreams and goals, but my dreams and goals got cut off by the reality I used to believe that someday I'll be loved and I'll find love, but I got rejected and humiliated many times I used to believe I deserve chances, but I got none - I got kicked out because they only took me for granted People shared their pain with a
Post a Comment
Read more

Pembuktian

Langit tak perlu berkoar-koar untuk membuktikan bahwa dirinya tinggi Hanya gedung sajalah yang perlu membuktikan bahwa dirinya tinggi Gedung itu berkoar-koar melalui manusia-manusia yang saling bertukar kata Gedung itu bahkan tidak menyadari bahwa dia akan dibanding dengan sesamanya Semakin ia bisa menyentuh langit, semakin banggalah dirinya Namun langit hanya tetap akan diam, dan memaklumi Langit tidak perlu berkoar-koar membuktikan dirinya tinggi Karena hujan akan turun untuk membuktikan Langit hanya perlu diam Orang-orang banyak berkoar-koar dengan percaya diri bahwa bumi itu besar tapi  mereka tidak tahu bahwa Jupiter jauh lebih besar tapi Jupiter tidak perlu berkoar-koar membuktikan dirinya besar Bahkan Jupiter pun sadar bahwa kelak akan ada yang lebih besar dibanding dirinya Peneliti pun membuktikan bahwa ada yang lebih besar dari Jupiter, OGLE-2016-BLG-1190Lb Mereka menyebutnya Exoplanet Laut tak perlu berkoar-koar untuk membuktikan bahwa dirinya luas
Read more

Cinderella

When I was young, girls at my age shared the same dreams of becoming a Princess Most of them said that they'd love to be Cinderella Well, I'm sure people on earth know the story of Cinderella A girl, A shoe, A Prince and also A magic. Every girls sure envy her, Cinderella But not every girls want to go through the same pain that Cinderella had once Step mother, step sisters, even being treated unfairly and don't forget that she has no chance to tell her father all the pains We all know that in fairy tale every Princess will have their happily ever after, but it will hard to find that in our real world It's even harder to be Cinderella in our life, seems like 1 in Million will turn out becoming Cinderella Ah, I wish that I could be Cinderella too I wish to spend the life like fairy tale Princesses have having a good palace, meet such a handsome Prince even having a magical time with love of my life What a good life..too good to be true Isn't
Read more