I'm Tired

I'm tired
I'm sick of being here..stuck.. doing all the same things, everyday.

I'm tired .. i think i need more holidays and sleep
But

So then i choose to remain in silence

Keep silent is the best way right now

Keep in silent day after day

How should i react these day?

I don;t have any idea of living these days

Sometimes i have idea to end my life..to give up

But, myself keep asking "Why did i start all of this work?"

So then, i told myself to stay.. hold on!

Just hanging in here till i run of energy

I feel like a dead-body but still alive

I feel like i can't do anything properly due to my tiredness

I can't even think wisely

I can't manage myself to be me

But why i can remember you clearly?

I can remember your name

I..automatically run to you when i'm out of energy

Am i already in love with you?

WHAT? LOVE?!

NO WAY!

That's not true, isn't it?

Please somebody say it's not true

I'm sick of love story

I'm sick of lovey-dovey stuffs

I used to fall in love with someone who didn't love me

I used to spend my life waiting for the uncertainty

Yeah..like today, i'm waiting for the uncertainty

The uncertainty about my future

No!

Could it be that i'm waiting for you?

I feel like dying whenever i imagine you will hurt me

I feel like i have no hope for falling again

So i choose to remain in silent

I choose loving you the way i always did

Stay in silent is better than i confess

Stay in silent could protect my smile whenever i think about you

I'm not that kind of girl guys fall in love

I'm not that kind of any girls

I'm.. I am

I have my own way to love

I have my own way to stand still in this tiredness of love

I wish someday this tiredness would go far away

I wish i didn't feel any emptiness like this anymore

I wish i could fall for myself more than i fall for you

I wish we would never meet in the future

I wish..though i wish that not

But, i'm not ready to face tomorrow or even the next day or the other next

OTL

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