I'm Tired

I'm tired
I'm sick of being here..stuck.. doing all the same things, everyday.

I'm tired .. i think i need more holidays and sleep
But

So then i choose to remain in silence

Keep silent is the best way right now

Keep in silent day after day

How should i react these day?

I don;t have any idea of living these days

Sometimes i have idea to end my life..to give up

But, myself keep asking "Why did i start all of this work?"

So then, i told myself to stay.. hold on!

Just hanging in here till i run of energy

I feel like a dead-body but still alive

I feel like i can't do anything properly due to my tiredness

I can't even think wisely

I can't manage myself to be me

But why i can remember you clearly?

I can remember your name

I..automatically run to you when i'm out of energy

Am i already in love with you?

WHAT? LOVE?!

NO WAY!

That's not true, isn't it?

Please somebody say it's not true

I'm sick of love story

I'm sick of lovey-dovey stuffs

I used to fall in love with someone who didn't love me

I used to spend my life waiting for the uncertainty

Yeah..like today, i'm waiting for the uncertainty

The uncertainty about my future

No!

Could it be that i'm waiting for you?

I feel like dying whenever i imagine you will hurt me

I feel like i have no hope for falling again

So i choose to remain in silent

I choose loving you the way i always did

Stay in silent is better than i confess

Stay in silent could protect my smile whenever i think about you

I'm not that kind of girl guys fall in love

I'm not that kind of any girls

I'm.. I am

I have my own way to love

I have my own way to stand still in this tiredness of love

I wish someday this tiredness would go far away

I wish i didn't feel any emptiness like this anymore

I wish i could fall for myself more than i fall for you

I wish we would never meet in the future

I wish..though i wish that not

But, i'm not ready to face tomorrow or even the next day or the other next

OTL

Comments

Check it out

The End

This situation (re: pandemic) makes me realize abut that quote Life isn't fair, and whether I'm ready or not I have to adjust myself Even for the last 19months, I doubt my faith in God I keep questioning Him for detailed reasons about everything that happened I wonder why my prayers haven't been answered even till the day I get up and write this thing I wonder why people never appreciate and notice me no matter how hard I try to compare to 'that people' I wonder why wise quotes keep saying about miracles and good news every morning when I see nothing changed except the way I see my life.. Yeah the way I see life..different I used to believe in dreams and goals, but my dreams and goals got cut off by the reality I used to believe that someday I'll be loved and I'll find love, but I got rejected and humiliated many times I used to believe I deserve chances, but I got none - I got kicked out because they only took me for granted People shared their pain with a

Pembuktian

Langit tak perlu berkoar-koar untuk membuktikan bahwa dirinya tinggi Hanya gedung sajalah yang perlu membuktikan bahwa dirinya tinggi Gedung itu berkoar-koar melalui manusia-manusia yang saling bertukar kata Gedung itu bahkan tidak menyadari bahwa dia akan dibanding dengan sesamanya Semakin ia bisa menyentuh langit, semakin banggalah dirinya Namun langit hanya tetap akan diam, dan memaklumi Langit tidak perlu berkoar-koar membuktikan dirinya tinggi Karena hujan akan turun untuk membuktikan Langit hanya perlu diam Orang-orang banyak berkoar-koar dengan percaya diri bahwa bumi itu besar tapi mereka tidak tahu bahwa Jupiter jauh lebih besar tapi Jupiter tidak perlu berkoar-koar membuktikan dirinya besar Bahkan Jupiter pun sadar bahwa kelak akan ada yang lebih besar dibanding dirinya Peneliti pun membuktikan bahwa ada yang lebih besar dari Jupiter, OGLE-2016-BLG-1190Lb Mereka menyebutnya Exoplanet Laut tak perlu berkoar-koar untuk membuktikan bahwa dirinya luas

Cinderella

When I was young, girls at my age shared the same dreams of becoming a Princess Most of them said that they'd love to be Cinderella Well, I'm sure people on earth know the story of Cinderella A girl, A shoe, A Prince and also A magic. Every girls sure envy her, Cinderella But not every girls want to go through the same pain that Cinderella had once Step mother, step sisters, even being treated unfairly and don't forget that she has no chance to tell her father all the pains We all know that in fairy tale every Princess will have their happily ever after, but it will hard to find that in our real world It's even harder to be Cinderella in our life, seems like 1 in Million will turn out becoming Cinderella Ah, I wish that I could be Cinderella too I wish to spend the life like fairy tale Princesses have having a good palace, meet such a handsome Prince even having a magical time with love of my life What a good life..too good to be true Isn't

Fraulein14

Search This Blog